So life is going great, I was on vacation for the past 10 days and had my family over the past 2 weeks.  I'm back to work today but all I am doing is desk warming which means I'll probably do some working out because I am in the English building completely alone, not even Lester the rat is here to keep me company today.

 I'm motivated to exercise especially with all this space available, however, I always feel run down and hungry at the moment with nausea on top, but I must find my motivation again!!! Caffeine wouldn't hurt either! I just paid for 1 month of premium service for my fitness pal, because today I am taking this Macros thing seriously. Using macros to burn fat is a lot more lenient than you think, you are allowed to indulge as long as you can fit it in your daily macros which is freaking awesome! I've noticed I'm eating way too many carbs it seems, despite my breakfast being one piece of brown bread with PB and a banana. My lunch is gluten free brown rice pasta with tuna, plain yogurt and a little mayo mixed in. Dinner is going to have to be carb free I think and I need to eat more protein!!!!  (Taco seasoned baked chicken breast with steamed broccoli anyone?)
Sadly due to the bird flu epidemic here eggs have gotten too expensive *cries* I would like to change my breakfast to poached eggs and toast if possible!

Anywho, I am not here to touch too much on diet and exercise, even though it is encouraged in helping with TTM and my other disorders. I am here to report on my progress. Tomorrow marks 3 weeks since I stopped pulling completely and it has been 2 weeks since I shaved my head, I've been using the castor + coconut oil mask and just after 2 weeks there's been miraculous results, they speak for themselves. However I am a little concerned, the hair that is growing, is growing fast healthy and thick, I feel my head is looking gappy and lacking hair, I'm hoping this is because it's still early days and hair renewal for more damaged hair may take longer to grow. I pray I haven't done any real serious damage and my hair catches up.


I really don't know where I am finding this strength to not pull, I have had urges but I've been able to say to myself no, I want to grow my hair out and I don't feel it anymore. I feel like something inside me has lost the fight to make me pull, I am really not finding it difficult yet, but I am also not really working right now, throw in stress and worry again and It's possible it may return, although, it's difficult to pull with my hands, only with tweezers on this length of hair right now which I guess is good it means its only half the battle. I am also avoiding mirrors when going to the bathroom because my head close up opens up the opportunity to notice hairs that stand out and that of course means wanting to pull.

I only have desk warming this week tomorrow and Thursday then its a Korean holiday woooo until Tuesday which means more desk warming, also tomorrow is payday which means I can buy some adventure time and gudetama work stationary in downtown and buy a new and affordable wig! Wooo!!!! I've decided now I'm open about my disorder and wigs, I'm going to have fun with it and invest in a few colored wigs, I got my eye on a rose gold one and a grey one, I'm also going to look into some turquoise and blue ones.


Oh and I'm off travelling by myself in 3 weeks. my motivation to work out is just to lean out a tad, I don't expect much in 3 weeks but let's see what I can achieve in a safe and healthy way for the beaches of Boracay and Bali. (More will reported on my trip on my travel blog.)