This post is going to be particularly tough one to write because this means having to think about and talk about the condition of my hair, now I would say I am one of the luckier sufferers of TTM, I don't eat my hair (Trichophagia) which on its own can be life threatening, so I am thankful for that. I also only pull on myself when I am completely alone and from a couple of isolated areas on my scalp, which I will further go into in a moment. 

To be honest I do wish I could have developed Trich somewhere else for instance my underarms or in more discreet regions where I usually shave anyways, I think I would feel less embarrassed and distressed about the subject for this very reason, however, it is what it is and like I said, It could be far worse. I am still questioning If I want to expose to the world my appearance without a wig because frankly the only people who have seen me in this vulnerable state are my mother, my father (barely) and my brother, that is it, the 16 years I've been suffering only these 3 people really know what the real me looks like. 

I do want to share though how I do manage my natural hair and can provide pictures of others who resemble or pull from the same spots as me. My hair pretty much resembles this lady's here, however my right side of my head is nowhere near thinning but is shorter because i also pull from there, but you can not notice it in my opinion, the side area became a pull site a few years ago when I shaved the side as it was the fashion at the time, when it grew back thats when I started to pull from the side. 

Maintaining my hair:

So you are probably wondering how I maintain my hair when its under a wig majority of the time (If I'm at home I don't wear it, as long as no one else is present).

 My hair grows alarmingly fast, I am blessed with Asian hair so my natural hair not only grows fast but is naturally thick, silky, shiny and a blackish/brown, my hair has always been long since I was a child, it always flowed to my waist. My hair at this time is the shortest I ever cut it, because I made the decision that my long hair under wig makes it all lumpy and bumpy also my hair would tangle up rather bad. I chopped it off to a really short bob but before that It was always really long maybe 26/28 inches in length, the longest its grown is just above my bottom, usually my mum would trim inches off it to keep it healthy and also so it wouldn't over grow.  

As you may know from my confessions video I was going to chop off my hair and shave it for charity but I never got confident to do it, that was over 2 years ago. I also was considering it again recently, (just shaving it as my hair isn't long enough to donate to the Little Princess Trust anymore) but I then realised if I buzzcut my hair, it may or may not help with my Trich but most importantly as a teacher I wouldn't be able to go to work with hair like Amber Rose and I certainly wouldn't be able to wear a wig because it will have nothing to hold onto. I don't even know if I could embrace the shave knowing I may look absolutely horrendous, as only a few can pull off a shave head and my head is big as anything. The next post I'll be posting about the reasons and possible causes of why I pull.

Fun fact: I haven't been to a hair dresser for a haircut since I was 11 and i never went back because the woman was ignorant and made me feel uncomfortable about my condition.

Peace, love and positivity.

Cherry x