Here I am with another post, this time its talking about the causes of Trich in general but also what triggers my urges to pull and some possible explanations on why I do.

First off how does one go about pulling out their hair in the first place?
Well, the causes of Trichotillomania can be one of many, a traumatic event, underlying issues with the chemical balance in the brain, history of Trich or other mental health disorders and of course suffering from an existing mental illness.

I am not an expert but I believe what started the pulling was my parents divorce, which is strange because I was never bothered by it not traumatically anyways, I was a little upset and got over it, but it's the only explanation that I can pinpoint at that age, I was 9 years old what could possibly drive me to want to tear out hair from the back of my head?

The condition went dormant for 2 years, then at 11 I started high school, back then I was extremely sensitive, shy and thought the world was full of rainbows and butterflies. That soon changed I went to a girls school in South East London, probably one of the worst schools possible, I won't name the school but it was rough as you can get, girls having fist fights every week, the girls were hostile and defensive. I was also not used to experiencing verbal abuse and negative behaviours towards me, I was bullied and I think this was what triggered me to start pulling again at 11 years old. I do not believe this is the sole cause, I believe it's a mix of these things, now
I am not sure if my anxiety is a result of Trich or if I have Trich because I am anxious, either way this is also part of the issue, although I feel anxiety is something I have inherited, my brother also displays signs of anxiety and my dad has been diagnosed with anxiety.

Now I don't know if other traumatising events in my timeline after high school  also contributed to my condition, and whether this is the reason I am still pulling, I myself, don't know what the cause is but I will talk about in the next paragraph what are my triggers. I feel like I am an extremely sensitive person, though, I do try hide it nowadays, things do affect me emotionally on a deep level and I do believe this contributes to my Trich.

So what makes me start pulling? These are usually typical of most Trichsters, they tend to pull for a few reasons:

• Boredom- Usually if I'm bored this one occurs subconsciously, my hands tend to automatically reach for the pull site(s) and we are not aware immediately, it's like a reflex, this occurs when we are in a relaxed state (watching tv etc.) or tired (lying in bed), this seems to be when I pull my hair out, when I am relaxed in bed on my laptop.

• Stressed/Upset- I tend to worry a lot and get stressed from my job a lot, also if I am emotionally charged because something bad happened to me then I tend to pull. 

• This one isn't really mentioned anywhere but a lot of Trichsters including myself, are addicted to the sensation, it offers a release the feeling of its removal the sensation between your fingers because the hair is coarse and thick thats our drug, we are addicted to that sensation. We usually search through our hair either for a hair that looks different and/or feels different. I'm guilty of the latter but if I look in the mirror sometimes way too long and I notice a white hair or a hair thats different from the rest then you bet I'll be there pulling it out and it never stops at one, once you get that sensation you craved, your hands go looking for more and seconds turn to hours. The worst part is usually once we found the hair we have our own procedure what we do with it next and usually once I found it I inspect the root, pull it off the hair and discard of them. So you can imagine how pointless this sounds, hours spent on searching for hairs you gain satisfaction from only for a split second. I know other Trichsters may put the root on their lips because they like the wet, cold sensation of it. Hair being near or in my mouth actually disgusts me, even finding hair in food is enough to repulse me and ruin my appetite. 

So what is the point to all the hair pulling you ask?
The goal is usually to pull out the roots because they produce an unspeakable sensation and I believe when this happens we are releasing endorphins at the same time, it literally feels like a high. The ultimate hair would be a thick coarse hair with a big root when removed can be experienced for longer and the longer and coarser the root is the sensation heightens further. The sensation is addictive and every hair is different, even once we found the hair, we are never satisfied, we continue to search for more to produce the same intense sensation. Even as I wrote that, I was getting unexplicable feelings to want to pull, something inside me as I sit as my desk at work and read that back is producing an urge in me, my heart is even palpitating, but I never act on these in public only when I am alone relaxed in bed/sofa lying down.


I genuinely believe pulling your hair out is comparable to being addicted to heroin, you continue to repeat the same behaviours in order to produce the same sensation over and over just to experience the
release.


That's just my two cents on the causes and triggers of Trich.